7 Ways to get your belly rubbed without being in “DOG”
In your relationship are there days where you feel like you’re nothing but the dog?
Being told what to do and how to do it all day long?
I hear from people in relationships all the time that they feel like they are the hired help, treated as one of the kids, or told that they don’t do it right so why even bother?
This has been an issue for couples and busy families since the beginning of time. In most of these cases, I see one underlying theme…
COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION
That sneaky little bugger…communication.
So often we have half spoken conversations or unclear talks with loads of assumptions where we cause huge gaps in understanding each other. Then the slippery part happens, yep you guessed it, the pressure of life and personal stories of actions over time pop-up and the big eruption happens…
BOOM!
A full-on argument ensues.
All the warning signs were missed and can lead to repressing our feelings of fear of not being loved or understood. Personal repressed feelings create the perfect explosion to validate the old thoughts and insecurities we all have. Instead of using this moment to pause and get clarity from the other person, we minimize our feeling and thoughts. When we do this, I call it living in “DOG.”
Living in what is called “DOG” can have deeply seeded consequences and build great stories of resentment.
So, what exactly is “DOG,” you ask?
Well, it’s simple.
DUTY, OBLIGATION, and GUILT.
These are very important components to survival when used in proper places like at work. If you feel like sleeping in and not going to work, you could lose your job. It could also be in balance when it comes to family commitment and loyalty. If you feel like not paying attention to your significant other, you could end up losing someone you care about.
When used in the wrong way this all goes awry. We can focus too much on being appreciated for the actions or deeds which can block the communication.
The quickest way to getting out of the dreaded bad “DOG” is to do a quick self-check.
Am I looking for something out of this action or deed?
Maybe it is to receive credit or to feel needed?
Or could it be that I’m looking for self-value?
Individual free will and giving without attachment is the only way to gauge the truth about how we decide to behave. There is no right, wrong, good or bad, only what serves us and what doesn’t.
The way we perceive life is based on personal experience and the way we feel about the perception. Personal and external judgment is gauged from these points. We can decide whether someone is aligned with our beliefs or perceptions based on the journey of our own lives or filters we have formed to keep us safe.
The key to getting your “Belly Rubbed” and staying out of the dog house is all about taking the time to understand each other.
These 7 ways will help you navigate this.
1 Compassion, understanding someone else’s perception can change all the relationships in your life. However, when it comes to intimacy, it’s the way to one’s heart.
2 Eye contact, taking the time to connect and “check-in” helps someone really know that you’re listening and not just saying, “Yes Dear.”
3 Body language, if you’re tense or stressed out, others feel it. Be aware of your own stuff, they just might be mirroring back your own actions.
4 Tone and inflection in the voice, this is similar to number three, but more about how loud and unconscious the words we choose can affect another.
A quick example of this is the words “calm down.” Some will get more upset while another might be able to hear it and see they need to step back to regroup.
It’s all about the tone and timing.
5 Intention, sometimes life is simple, and we just forget the easy stuff like pouring a cup of coffee for your mate without feeling obligated.
6 Affection, that loving stroke on the cheek by your loved one can melt away the stress in the moment and make you feel like you are the only thing that matters. Be sure you are feeling into the moment because if you’re forcing the moment, resistance will happen.
7 Love, it’s all about LOVE… being open to receive love and give love.
